Reflections on a 'Gathering' - The Amazing Byron Borger

If you are wandering around semi-rural southeastern Pennsylvania and find Dallastown, be sure to stop at a quaint bookshop called Hearts and Minds. It is owned by the incomparable Byron Borger, lover of books galore and encyclopedic in regards to the printed word.

       Byron gave a talk to the LCI Gathering participants one evening about his passion for leaders to be readers. It was both riveting and compelling.

       The evening we were at Hearts and Minds I told Byron that I am spending the summer reading various memoirs, something I have not done very much in the past.

       Byron brought me over to the Memoirs and Biographies section and began scanning the titles. He must have mentioned 8 or 10 books in a span  of 2 minutes, one better than the previous mentioned. He gave me very brief synopses and left me to ponder how in the world I could ever read so many amazing books!

       I chose one, "North of Hope," somewhat randomly after realizing that every book that Byron had recommended is an incredible resource and story.

       So this is a special Thank You to Byron Borger and Hearts and Minds bookstore in little Dallastown, PA. You have inspired me anew to read broadly.

       

Reflections on a 'Gathering' - Lifelong Learning

I spent a wonderful time last week in York, PA with the community of Leadership Connextions International. (check out their brand new website) A decade ago my close friend and colleague Brian Rice and I birthed LCI with a vague notion/vision of journeying with leaders in their growth and development.
       After a couple of years I moved on from LCI and Brian continued to develop it, with a great group of people in York. Last week was a culmination of a vision to bring partners of LCI together for a week of spiritual nourishment, community, and catching up. I simply LOVED IT! Being with life-giving people who are intentional learners was beautiful. I cannot wait until we can be together again.
       I have a few specific reflections at The Gathering, which I will post today, tomorrow, and the next day. The first one is this: LIFELONG LEARNING IS AT THE CORE OF LCI AND WHAT WE ARE ALL ABOUT.

       I was struck by the breadth and depth of understanding and learning by this group of 20 plus people. Many of us did short talks on subjects of interest and passion to us. For example, Barry spoke on the importance of beauty and was so insightful and challenging. The diversity of topics was such a blessing to us.
       It was also humbling for me to be around people who are so wired for a certain type of learning. Their Strength Finders profiles include: Input, Learner, Intellection, Belief. They are avid readers and consume books, articles, journals, etc. like a vacuum cleaner sucks up dust from the floor!
       I have to "raise my game" in the area of input, even though that is not one of my "strengths." No excuse - just have to continue to learn and grow. That was a great challenge and encouragement to me.

The Problem with Narcissists

A number of very dysfunctional people (all male, by the way) are in the news these days. I know several other leaders who are equally dysfunctional, but they are not in the spotlight.

       What do these unhealthy people have in common, and why does this narcissism seem so rampant? There are several common factors:
      ** They believe they are above the law. Alex Rodriguez has said he will fight any suspension from baseball, as if the rules do not apply to his actions. Why would Major League Baseball make an exception for him if they did not for Ryan Braun? People such as A-Rod have a delusional sense that the rules do not apply to them.
     ** They have women in their lives who enable their dysfunction. I feel sad for Huma Abedin, the wife of Anthony Weiner. But I wonder why she stays with him and even defends

him at some points? Over and over again I see grossly narcissistic men in positions of power who manipulate and use the women who are closest to them.
     ** They have natural abilities and talents that are extraordinary. Nobody doubts that A-Rod is one of the greatest hitters in baseball history. Anthony Weiner did not get to be a US congressman unless he had vision and the ability to communicate that vision very well. It seems that their great abilities become one of the great stumbling blocks of their lives.
     ** The best opportunity for them to change is for them to be caught, which likely means being found guilty of a crime. I vividly remember watching on TV when Jim Bakker was arrested, handcuffed, and escorted from his church by state troopers. He melted in despair as his world came crashing in on him. It was incredibly sad, and yet I believe that a glimmer of hope was birthed in that moment because Bakker could no longer manipulate people and situations.
       It feels terrible to wish for the demise of a person's career or ministry. Sometimes, however, it takes a great fall in order for a person to change at his core.

The Bald Head of George HW Bush

Former President George HW Bush shaved his head this week in solidarity with a two-year-old boy who is battling leukemia. Mr. Bush's 12-person Secret Service security detail did the same.
       No big deal, right? WRONG. It's a very big deal.
       There are so few leaders today who do things for the pure act of sacrifice, kindness, and charity. Most leaders have ulterior motives. Not Mr. Bush. George HW Bush is in the twilight of his life and has nothing to prove to anyone.
       He is living as a truly FREE man, at peace with himself and with his world.
       In an interview with NBC News tonight, Barbara Bush said of her husband, "I think of you [as] a great, gentle man and we certainly can use clean gentle men these days." I could not agree more.

Defined by What Embraces Us

"While I fear that we're drawn to what abandons us, and to what seems most likely to abandon us, in the end I believe we're defined by what embraces us." - J.R. Moehringer, The Tender Bar
       I spend more time than I would like interacting with people who have been abandoned - by parents, by children, by friends, and most recently, by clergy/pastors. The latter is especially painful for so many people.
       Currently I am reading J.R. Moehringer's beautiful memoir, The Tender Bar about an Irish Catholic guy about my age who grew up on the north shore of Long Island. His upbringing parallels mine in many ways. Just switch out Jewish for Irish.
       The book opens with the perplexing idea that we are drawn to the people and situations which will betray and abandon us, but we are defined by what embraces us.
       I hope this is true, because if we are also defined by what abandons us then a lot of people who have been hurt and used by religious leaders are in a heap of trouble!
       But I am more hopeful than that, only because I believe God's embrace is far greater than a person's abandonment of another.
       I am reminded of a friend who comes from a Muslim background and is now a follower of Jesus. It is a rare Muslim who will make such a radical change in life. My friend - call him Yayer - has been terribly betrayed and abandoned by his family and almost all of his Muslims friends. His life is in danger because of his new-found beliefs. But he lives in the reality of God's embrace in and through Jesus. He lives in the tension between human abandonment and divine embrace.
       So I am left with the somewhat nagging question of myself: Am I living in light of what has abandoned me or by what embraces me?

A Time to Speak ... Again

I have not been blogging for a couple of months. There were a number of reasons, and much of them have been sorted out (not all though). It is time to find my voice again.

"You Had Me at Shalom"

The reference is to the climactic scene in the film, "Jerry Maquire" in which Tom Cruise woos back Renee Zellweger and she says, "You had me at hello." I admit it - I LOVE that scene!
       It is full of hope, and possible redemption, and pathos! Even though it's a Hollywood fantasy.
       I love the phrase, "You had me at shalom" a million times more. Shalom is utterly impossible apart from God, and more specifically apart from the person of Jesus Christ.
       I don't know a person who does not want to live SHALOM - an inner experience of contentment, fulfillment, settledness which overflows into a "peaceful" external life.
       This week Egypt experienced its second "revolution" in which President Morsi was removed by the military. Is Egypt any closer to shalom today than a week ago? I doubt it. We would do well to have a muted, respectful, and prayerful response to a people suffering greatly at the moment.
       Shalom is a word that is larger than life. You know it when you experience it, but you can never manufacture it. Shalom came on a few of us two weeks ago when I was with my friends Ashraf (a Jordanian) and Ali (a Tunisian) at a training week. We celebrated the Lord's Supper together and I was privileged and humbled to lead the Commmunion time. In the midst of 100 people, Ashraf and Ali came forward to receive the body and blood Christ given for them - and given for the Jewish guy who was serving them.
       That is shalom.

Something's Coming!

I love the song, "Something's Coming" from West Side Story. Check out the video:



       Tony anticipated something GREAT. He was about to meet the love of his life (which in the end turned tragic).
         I wonder if we anticipate and HOPE enough. Recently I have been depressed - at times VERY depressed. What I have anticipated has been full of dread rather than full of hope.
         Today I am anticipating the good, I am hopeful that God prevails in the even darkest moments:
* The church that has imploded because of an unrepentant pastor who has crashed morally;
* The Jew and Arab who wish only ill of one another;
* The out-of-work HVAC worker who umpires baseball to put food on the table.
Like Tony says in West Side Story:
Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Dallas Willard Quotes - #1

“[Jesus] matters because of what he brought and what he still brings to ordinary human beings, living their ordinary lives and coping daily with their surroundings. He promises wholeness for their lives. In sharing our weaknesses he gives us strength and imparts through his companionship a life that has the quality of eternity.”
The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In God

Blog Break

Hi everyone. I am taking a break from blogging for a bit. I will let you know when I am back.
Shalom.

Brian

Are You Successful? ... Please Send Money

I pastored a "successful" church in Amsterdam. A thousand people. Lots of different ministries. Our Sunday services were in the round - WOW!
       Someone once told me that I was fortunate that the church was growing and was a significant size. Why? Because I could get a pay increase the following year.
       When I heard this I thought to myself, "Someone please stop the Merry-Go-Round - I want to get off!!!"
       The first year I was pastor the church received the "Helix Award" from the Evangelical Alliance of the Netherlands as the most effective church in the country. We were given a little trophy.
       I never exactly figured out what to do with that trophy. 

       The "Success Syndrome" permeates so much of the Church in the West. It is disheartening to me, in an increasing way. Success is measured by several factors:

  * Size of congregation

  * Size of church budget

  * Senior pastor - presence, preaching, stature

  * Number of ministries offered to congregants

  * Quality of worship music

       When I pastored in Amsterdam we did a nine-week preaching series called, "Sex and the City." It was based on the Song of Solomon. It was a powerful time in some ways. God used it in people's lives.

       Leadership Journal even asked me to write up a brief article about it, seeing that the church is in Amsterdam of all places. Wow ... right?

       Here's the honest truth about my own heart in that series - I felt hollow, lonely, and without energy throughout that time. Sometimes I felt like we were putting on a show of sorts, and people from Amsterdam came week after week to see the show.

       Was it "wrong" for us to do that series? Of course not.

- But not because we wanted to "wow" people.

- Not because we wanted to get people to "come to our church."

- Not because I wanted to be successful.

- And not because I want people to drop 10 dollars or 10 euro in an offering plate.

       These days I do not pastor, and I do not have a "successful" platform in some senses. I seek to help Christians reach out to Jews and Muslims with the love of Christ. It's not the most "successful" endeavor in the world, but hopefully one that has some Kingdom impact in a small way.

       I hope I have gotten off the "merry-go-round" that often happens in Evangelical circles - the merry-go-round of "bigger is better," and "if you build it they will come." I believe wholeheartedly in the mission of God - to be God's primary instrument to introduce people to Jesus and to help them become disciples of him. Anything that distracts from this calling is not worth our time.

It's Worth Being Unsuccessful

I am reading a compilation of Mother Teresa's letters in a book titled, "Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light." These are some of the private writings of Teresa.

       They are both beautiful and gut-wrenching. The darkness and loneliness she lived with for so many years is simply astounding.

       More than 10 years after she founded the Sisters of Charity in Calcutta, she wrote this to her Archbishop:

     "Your Grace,

I want to say to you something - but I do not know how to express it. I am longing - with a painful longing to be all for God - to be holy in such a way that Jesus can live His life to the full in me. The more I want Him - the less I am wanted. I want to love Him as He has not been loved - and yet there is that separation - that terrible emptiness, that feeling of absence of God....

     "I am not complaining - I only want to go all the way with Christ. I am not writing to you as to His Grace - but to the father of my soul - for to you and from you I have not kept hidden anything."

       When I read this for the first time I had to exhale strongly afterward. Wow, what an incredible struggle and hope that Mother Teresa experienced. She knew Christ intimately, and yet she also recognized that she only saw through a glass dimly. Her driving passion and motivation was GOD ... not success, not notoriety, not power, not position, not title.
       The Church does not have nearly enough of these type of leaders - those who shun popularity, who do not seek the spotlight, who do not try to prove themselves. If only we could be content with Christ, and not so much with success.

25 Years ... What a Journey!

Twenty-five years ago I had the great fortune of marrying Susy Scott - this cute, gracious girl from southern California. We met in Geneva, Switzerland and I was quickly smitten by her quiet strength and gracious living.
       We have traveled the world together - living in Geneva, Budapest, Amsterdam, California, and Colorado. Sometimes I have dragged her places, other times she has gone willingly!
       I have not always been the best partner to journey with, but Susy has hung in there and we have forged a relationship which I cherish. There have been priceless times (seeing Carly being born and that little squirt clasping Susy's fingers and Susy crying comes to mind) and times of sorrow and pain.
       We have been privileged to raise two kids and are quite proud of the young adults they have become. Each of us has parented differently and brought our unique personalities to Carly and Steven. They seem to be fairly well-adjusted people(!) and I hope that's some indication of our marriage and family being grounded in God and in commitment to each other.
       I have been in numerous leadership roles over the years, and with that comes a lot of stress - including stress on a marriage. I cannot imagine a better partner than Susy with whom to weather the storms and to walk through these leadership challenges. Susy has been the behind-the-scenes partner I have relied on all along the way.
       A couple of weeks ago we traveled to Israel together - took a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee, walked the streets of Jerusalem, even crossed the checkpoint together between Palestinian Bethlehem and Israel. It was the latest in a rich and wonderful journey that God has had us on together.
       So here's to 25 years together with Susy Scott of Malibu! I'm a very fortunate guy!

SIgns of Hope in a Broken Land?

“Whatever the reasons, when forgiveness happens it is always a miracle of grace. The obstacles in its way are immense." ~ Miroslav Volf
       Very close to the Israeli-Syrian border on the Golan Heights is a directional sign which shows the distances to some high-profile locations. Most of them have seen tremendous strife and bloodshed over many years. The sign was sobering and saddening to me.
       Forgiveness, understanding, an "attentive heart and mind" is rare to find in the Middle East. Animosity between people is typical and rampant.
       But there are a handful (do I dare call them a "remnant?") of followers of Jesus who are seeking forgiveness and even reconciliation. They are Jewish believers and Arab believers - people such as Salim Munayer of Musalaha (Reconciliation). I will write about my meeting with Salim in another post.
       I am more convinced now than I was previously that the Christian voice is so critical in the midst of the intractable conflict between Jews and Arabs/Palestinians. The gospel turns the arguments on their head. We are called to serve, love, even forgive because Jesus first served, loved, and forgave (see I John 5 and elsewhere).
       Perhaps I will not see this change in the Middle East in my lifetime. But it is like planting an Olive Tree, which will not bear fruit for a number of years and then can live for centuries!
       People don't plant olive trees for themselves; they plant them for generations to come. We would do well to have such an attitude about learning to forgive the "other" as we represent Jesus to a broken world.

The Full Serenity Prayer

I always thought the "Serenity Prayer" was only three lines. Today my spiritual director/counselor gave me a copy of the FULL prayer, which I had never seen.
     After days like I had yesterday, this expanded version makes perfect sense to me.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the thing I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it;

trusting that he will make all things right

if I surrender to his will;

that I may be reasonably happy in the life and

supremely happy with him forever in the next.

Amen.