Ah, My "Little" Girl in the Middle East!

Carly, our 21-year-old university senior, is spending the semester in Jordan, Israel, and Egypt on a 4-month study abroad.

       I just saw this picture of Car with a a woman somewhere on her travels. I love this photo - it captures so much of who Carly is and how God has wired her.
       Carly lives among cultures so well, and looks so ALIVE with this woman. (by the way, this lady must be quite small, because Carly is not exactly a giant!)
      Next month Susy and I will be in Israel for a couple of weeks. We are so looking forward to spending a bit of time with Carly and the 25 other students she is with this semester.

Brokenness, Sadness, Transition, and Hope

I woke early this morning, having tossed and turned much of the night. Yesterday evening I finished writing a memo to church elders of a congregation I am beginning to help walk through major transition. It probably would have been wiser to write the memo in the morning rather than late at night! 
       This current church situation brings back painful memories of other church transitions I have observed, been a leader in, and been a consultant. I rarely feel as sad as I do in these contexts.
       This morning I was encouraged by a video slide show that my wife Susy put together a few years ago depicting the process of making pit-fired pottery. More than any other image or video, this captures SO MUCH of the realities the church I am consulting with is going through.

The Potter and "Beautiful Things" from Susy Newman on Vimeo.

30 Years Ago Today ...

It was 30 years ago today - March 6, 1983 - that I said these words, "What the hell, I'm going to become a Christian."
       And so began the adventure of my lifetime, as unpolished a beginning as it was!
       I was a 20-year-old kid from Long Island, a third-year university student at Cortland State in upstate New York.
       At the time I knew very, very little about Jesus, about the gospel, about what it meant to be a Christian. It did not really register either that I was Jewish and choosing to following Jesus.
       I was just desperate - I needed a Savior and I knew that Jesus was him.
       Never in my wildest imagination could I have anticipated the wild journey God has had for me these three decades! The phrase that comes to mind is, ALL IS GRACE.
       Today I am grateful for so many things -
   for my brother, Randy, who patiently and steadfastly shared his new faith with me;
   for two college friends, Dave and Bill, who shared their faith with me after I first believed;
   for Tom Fraser, who first discipled me;
   for Glenn Gunderson and the people of Homer Baptist Church, who were the first community of faith I knew.
   And to many others who were part of my early days of faith back in 1983.
Here's to the coming days and years, and all that God has for me.

Loving the "Former" Enough to Let it Grow

This is a follow up to my previous post regarding being a "former leader" of a church or organization. I love the people, churches, and organizations where I have served in leadership.
     I love Christian Associates. I love Crossroads Church in Amsterdam. I love Lookout Mountain Church. Love them all!
     It is also true that we tend to hurt the ones we love the most, and get hurt by the ones we love the most! Ouch.
     What this means is that it is exceedingly challenging and rare for a leader to leave his or her ministry context without some tearing, splitting, or fraying of the congregation. In fact, some leaders sub-consciously want the church or organization to stumble and struggle when they leave - as if to say to the world, "See, they really needed me!"
     But for those of us who are "former" to a church or organization, and if we believe in the mission and vision of that group, should we not pray for and desire its success and growth? I am astonished at many pastors who seem to care little that their former church is suffering through an ordeal. Most grievous, it is an affront to God, who has declared that His Church is the bride of Christ.
     I have a few present contexts where I serve now. Some day I will have the label of "former." The legacy that I want with all of these contexts is that they grow and thrive after I leave. When that happens I hope to have left a God-honoring legacy.

Former Leaders and Their Former Flocks

Pope Benedict XVI flew off into the sunset of Rome a few days ago to begin his life as "former pope."
       For many leaders, being "former" is foreign territory and scares the hieby-giebies out of many of us (that's a technical term!).
       The news media has asked whether Benedict will stay out of church business, or if he might meddle. That is a very good question.
       I am the "former" of three situations - former Europe Director of Christian Associates, former senior pastor of Crossroads Amsterdam, and former executive pastor of Lookout Mountain Church in Denver.
       My self-assessment is that I did two out of the three of these well, the other one not so great. The poor transition was when I left the role of Europe Director in 2000. I handed off the role to a very gifted person who I had mentored for three years.
       But there was at least two problems: I did not move off the scene. I became pastor of the flagship church of the ministry, in the same city where he was. That made things messy. The other issue was that he was a bit of a junior leader and I did not prepare the way for him well enough.
       The other two (church) situations went well - in part because of me and in part despite me! I have learned a few key things from those transitions, and from leaders (especially pastors) who do not become "former" very well.
   * You have to leave and get out of the way entirely. When we left Amsterdam in 2005 I was determined to "disappear" from things at Crossroads for at least a year. I did that, by God's grace. We leaders can so easily meddle in the affairs of our former groups.
   * Never question or second guess the new leader, especially in public! (by the way, it's a very good idea for the new leader not to take swipes at the previous leader as well)
   * Don't fund-raise in your previous ministry context, at least for quite a while. This is difficult for people like me, who raises his financial support. When I was leaving Crossroads the elders asked that I not speak with people about supporting our ministry. Quite honestly, I was ticked off (and those elders were and are some of my closest friends). But their judgement was right. It is simply too difficult for people for whom I have been their pastor to sift through the complexity of the relationship with me.
       It has been challenging for me to live with the title "former." It's humbling. I remember when I returned for a visit to Amsterdam 2 or 3 years after I had left. Someone who was in the church when I pastored saw me on a Sunday morning before the worship service. She was surprised to see me. The first thing she said to me was, "Hi Brian. Crossroads is doing so GREAT without you!"
     I just had to laugh at the comment! It made me feel so ... human.

The Problem with "Twitter Theology"

When one "tweets" (i.e. writes something on Twitter), they only get 140 characters to do so.
       The other day I read a Facebook update (which I assume was a feed from Twitter or Buffer) which said, "'Use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves.' Luke 16:9. Jesus said it...not me!"
       This is pithy, and provocative, and gets people to your website or blog. But it is woefully incomplete and even confusing. And such is the problem with what I call, "Twitter Theology."
       The problem is magnified by the fact that the person who tweeted this small section of Luke 16:9 labels himself as "an international expert on the Middle East." I know this person and I do not doubt that he is an "expert." But should not experts be more complete or clear when quoting a verse of Scripture this this?
       The entirety of Luke 16:9 says, "I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings." Well that puts a slightly different spin on things, rather than only saying, "Use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves." So the verse is telling us to use money to gain friends and that's how a person gets into heaven?? Really?
        In reality only looking at verse 9 is not fair either. This verse is found in a 14-verse parable known as The Parable of the Shrewd Manager. The last thing you ever want to do is pull out a part of one verse from a parable. Context is extremely important in such passages.
       The "problem" is that Luke 16:1-14 is far more than 140 characters, so you cannot tweet it. And reading 14 verses is not nearly as pithy or provocative as half of one verse.

"You are everything that is good in me"

"You are everything that is good in me." ~ Detective Mac Taylor to his girlfriend Christine in last night's episode of CSI New York.
       The line was poignant, and struck a nerve deep in my soul. It got me asking this question, "Who is it in my life that I can make that statement to?"
       Nobody really.
       Except Jesus. Only Jesus. Always Jesus.
       Jesus is everything that is good in me.
       If there is any good in the human heart (which I believe there is) it is the gift of God.
       If there is shalom in me it is Jesus' shalom which he imparts to me.
       If I love it is because Jesus first loved me (1 John 5).
       If I forgive it is because Jesus has forgiven me.
Mac Taylor is almost right. He is missing the source - Jesus. HE is everything that is good in me.

Remembering the "Big Bear Principles"

On the outskirts of Los Angeles, in the San Gabriel Mountains, sits the pristine town of Big Bear. It is now known as the location where a murderer was hold up in a cabin in recent weeks.
       Big Bear has a very special place in my heart. Throughout much of the 1990s and into the 2000s, when are kids were young and we were missionaries in Europe, our family would venture to Big Bear just about every summer. Susy's aunt and uncle had built a rustic A-frame cabin and they graciously allowed us to use it for a few weeks to a month in the summer.

       One summer, July 1998 to be exact, we went to Big Bear and I was FRIED! I had hit a major wall in ministry, I was burned out.
       I had been Europe Director for Christian Associates for 3 years. The ministry was growing rapidly, with new projects springing up around Europe. New staff were coming on board.
       And I was spiritually, emotionally, and physically wiped out! I got a hernia in June of that year, which was the "straw that broke the camel's back."
       I retreated to Big Bear for a more extended stay. I collapsed really.
  - I slept in every day.
  - I went to the local "greasy spoon" in the small town and talked about nothing with people I did not know.
  - We visited a local church - Calvary Chapel - and sat in the back row and stared into space.
  - I brought Steven fishing, we rented a boat and went on the lake, we barbecued a lot, I read books to the kids at night.
       Somewhere in that month God began to point some things out to me. Painful realities of my life. I started to understand that my life was not sustainable at the pace I had been living.
       Toward the end of our time in Big Bear I took out a pad and paper and wrote on the top, "Big Bear Principles." There were 5 that I wrote down, and I added a 6th in the summer of 2000 when I was in Big Bear again.
       Herewith are my Big Bear Principles, which I still try to hold to and accept as best as I can.

Principle 1: There is no moderation in slowing down. God requires nothing less than radical surgery.

Principle 2: When I work I work hard and when I play I play hard.

Principle 3: I must maximize being with people I love to be with, I must minimize being with people who drain me.

Principle 4: Mentoring is in the eye of the beholder. I must creatively cultivate new mentors all the time.

Principle 5: Retreat is a prerequisite for the next attack.

Principle 6: I retreat in order to reassess my calling and to cultivate the virtues that make that calling sure and "complete."

The Life and Times of Howard Hendricks

I first heard Howard Hendricks speak at a Campus Crusade for Christ conference called, "KC83." I had come to faith in Christ a mere two months earlier.
       I do not remember what Professor Hendricks spoke on at the conference, but I remember thinking to myself, "This is a man of God." I was right.
       This Giant of the Faith died peacefully today.
       Here are some statements by "the prof," as he was called by his students.
       In an interview in 2003 with the Dallas Morning News: “You’re looking at a completely fulfilled human being. If I died today having produced some of the people God has given me the privilege of shaping, it will have been worth showing up on the planet.”

*****

"You never graduate from the school of discipleship."

*****

"How big is your God? The size of the your God determines everything."

*****

"Spend the rest of your life doing what God has prepared you to do."

*****

And here is Professor Hendricks speaking at his last chapel service at Dallas Theological Seminary. His talk was titled, "The Ultimate Final Exam."

The Community of the Pit

Last night a bunch of guys gathered around the fire pit in my backyard. It is sacred space.
       In an unconventional way it is Acts 2:42-47 lived out on a micro level, for a moment in time, with guys finding their way through life.
       This is the text of the email I sent out to a bunch of guys inviting them out last night:

" Thanks to the creativity of Jim Maynard and the sweat of a bunch of guys, we put a fire pit in my backyard a few years back. There has been many a beer drunk and stogie smoked around that fire - in the dead of winter and in the heat of summer.

       We have been labeled in a variety of ways:

   * Boyz AT the Pit

      * Boyz OF the Pit

         * Boyz IN the Pit

I suppose is depends on the state of your heart and mind at the time.

Many a conversation has been had around the pit -

  * Job promotions, job losses, pay cuts

  * Marital bliss and marital strife

  * We have celebrated new life, we have cursed the loss of life

  * We have talked sports rivalries

  * We have debated the politics of gun ownership and gun control (and we are still talking to each other!)

  * We have shared homemade brew and smoked finely rolled cigars from around the world

For me the Firepit is Sacred Space. A place of respite, of safety, of laughter and weeping, of no BS at times and lots of BS at other times! :o)

_____________________
       Last night was all this and more - a dozen of us huddled around the fire and caught up on life after a number of months apart.
       There were newcomers and old-timers, drinkers and a non-drinker, smokers and non-smokers, younger and older (Steven even came out for a while with the guys!).
       I am deeply grateful for this ad hoc group of guys who sporadically gathers around the pit and shares life together, as we all stare into the flames.
       It is holy and profane, the mundane and absolute core stuff of life, it's community.

Deeply Personal Very Public Information

Preface:
My friend Lizzy asked several of us if we would write something for her blog of a personal nature and that which is very public. I was going to blow off the request, but then I read Lizzy's incredibly brave and sensitive post of her own. And I was convicted. So I wrote the following for her blog.

My Last Best Year: Deeply Personal Very Public Information

I arrived at a very successful church in 2006 to be the #2 guy (or maybe #3) in the shadow of a dynamite preacher/senior pastor. Within a year he was removed and the church was spiraling into a church split. And I was spiraling into depression.

       For the first three months after the pastor left, another pastor and I preached most Sundays. It was like speaking at a funeral every week, except people in the congregation came back periodically to see if the person was really dead. Every Sunday felt like a sucker punch to the kidneys for me. Each successive Sunday became more and more painful as people left.

       I vacillated between a few perspectives on this church mess. Perhaps reality is somewhere in the midst of these thoughts:

* Thought #1 : Everyone wants a "rock star" for a pastor and the star will eventually crash, either due to self-inflicted wound or other circumstances;

* Thought #2: God orchestrated the whole thing to show the folly of human empire-building;

* Thought #3: The emotional pain caused by this church split was and is staggering to me!

       In the midst of all of this I struggled deeply: WHERE IS GOD'S GRACE IN THIS MESS?

Trite answers from well-meaning people did not help.

Spiritualizing the mess did not help.

Blame shifting certainly did not help.
       The question haunted me. I got depressed, probably clinically so. For quite some time. I lost faith in the institution of the Church. At points I thought I might lose my faith, and almost did.

       But as the old hymn says, "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back." It is in that following (dare I say obedience) that I began to rediscover grace - in the form of spiritual brothers and sisters who sat with me in the mess, who did not have simple answers to hard questions, and who challenged me to forgive (myself, others, God).

       I hope that my wounds are turning to scars. Scars remind us of past hurts but they are now healed wounds. That is my hope.

"Always in the Process of Staying Together..."

The difference between good leaders and great leaders is found in one word: PERSPECTIVE.
       I learned this lesson in the mid-1990s when I was first part of Crossroads Church of Amsterdam. It was a very rough time in the life of the church. The senior pastor had resigned, the church was in a weird interim place without much direction, people were hurt and stunned.
       I was quite sure that after only 8 years of existence Crossroads Church was imploding and would be no more. One day a former elder who had moved abroad was visiting the church. I said to him (these are my exact words), "That's it. Crossroads is falling apart. It's over."
       He responded, "You have it all wrong Brian. Crossroads is not falling apart, it's in the process of staying together!"
       At first I thought he had lost his marbles, that the elevator was one floor short of the top! But then I realized that I did not have good perspective, I was too close to the mess to see the good and great things God continued to do at Crossroads.
       My friend was right and I was wrong. Thankfully! Crossroads was and is in the process of staying together. It is now almost 18 years since that conversation - Crossroads is still there, still touching people's lives. God is always faithful, even when we are not quite so much!

A Word About My Lovely Wife

My wife Susy is a fairly private person; she is quite content being behind the scenes and quietly and gracefully going about touching people's lives.
       She is one of the most subtle people I know.
       And she does not necessarily like being the subject of my blog! But it's Valentine's Day and I want to write about Susy - she will just have to live with it this one time.

       This is my newest favorite photograph of Susy. I know, that's a little strange. This is Susy doing what she really loves to do - throwing a pot, shaping a blob into something beautiful.
       That's a great description of Susy's life (maybe even calling) - she helps shape blobs into beautiful things!
       She is a counselor/therapist who journeys with people week after week in their pain and brokenness as they become whole again. She patiently helps people take their next baby step.
       She creates amazing pottery - goblets, angels, mugs, platters, vases, candle holders, and other items - each one is a unique expression of her creativity. Her work is more and more mesmerizing to me, and to others.
       And she has helped shape this blob (me!) for 25 years of marriage this year. Yes, I know, I MARRIED UP! A lot of guys marry up - some know it and some don't. People who spend time with Susy and me in a friendship are certainly very glad Susy is in the picture, and they know I have married up! I have strengths, but CHARM is not one of them.
       Susy is, in a word, charming.
       And so today on this Valentine's Day (which in general stresses me out with unrealistic romantic overtones), I am simply grateful for my wife Susy.

Abraham Heschel on ... Religion

"A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair."

Abraham Heschel on ... the Self

"The focus of prayer is not the self ... It is the momentary disregard of our personal concerns, the absence of self-centered thoughts, which constitute the art of prayer ... Thus, in beseeching Him for bread, there is one instant, at least, in which our mind is directed neither to our hunger nor to food, but to His mercy. This instant is prayer.
       "We start with a personal concern and live to feel the utmost."