Hospital Gowns Level the Playing Field

I went for an annual physical exam at Kaiser yesterday. After the nurse checked me in she told me to strip to my birthday suit and put on the ever-fashionable HOSPITAL GOWN!
       While the guy to the left in the photo is NOT me, I wanted to remind us of a few important realities from the Hospital Gown experience.
       1. The phrase "nice ass" is a fallacy, as my friend Karl reminded me yesterday;
       2. More important, hospital gowns remind us that "from dust you came, to dust you will return." That is to say, hospital gowns sort of "level the playing field." It does not matter if you are rich or poor, black or white, male or female. EVERYONE feels vulnerable and wildly HUMAN and FRAGILE in a hospital gown (except for exhibitionists and a hospital gown is a dream come true).
       3. For many people, the last thing they wear in life is a hospital gown. Personally I think this is proof that God has a great sense of humor.
       4. Everyone I know laughs when you mention someone "hanging a moon" or "mooning someone." Hospital gowns validate this.
       The first time I wore a hospital gown was in Budapest, Hungary on March 15, 1994. It was 2 days after our son Steven was born and I was rushed to the hospital just as he and Susy came home from hospital.
       I had appendicitis and had surgery within 30 minutes of being at the hospital. Mind you that it was only a few years after major social changes in Hungary had begun, and hospital care was anything but modern or westernized! People had to bring in food, toiletries, clothes, etc. for my week-long stay. And Susy could not help out much because she was at home with a baby.
       The mark of a friend is someone who will almost carry you to the bathroom down a long hallway in your hospital gown so you can finally have a bowel movement. The mark of a real friend is someone who gives you a sponge bath with your gown on because there is no other way to do so. And I had such a friend - Bobby Booze needs to get a medal of honor 20 years after the fact!! You are a saint, Bobby!
       The next time you are asked to put on that hospital gown just smile and remember, IT COULD BE WORSE - YOU COULD BE IN BUDAPEST IN 1994!