Clarence Clemons, that iconic figure who played saxophone alongside Bruce Springsteen for so many years, died today at 69 years of age. I have two enduring memories of Clemons. The first is the sax solo he does about two minutes into "Born to Run." I remember listening to it in my dorm room at Cortland State and saying to my roommate, "Who is that sax player? He totally makes the song!" Little did I know. The second image is the cover of the Born to Run album, which shows Springsteen (The Boss) leaning on Clemons (the big man). In some ways that image is sort of prophetic in my mind's eye. Thanks to the big man for many years of great music making and showmanship. I will miss you.
I thought I would wake up this morning and "be over it." Be over what? Be over my sadness about saying good-bye to Nate yesterday. That's wildly naive of course, even though I think I am the type of person who is more activist and gets on with the next thing pretty quickly. But it is not that easy. I am especially perplexed with God this morning, and where He is in all of this. It reminds me of C.S. Lewis' comment in A Grief Observed as he reflected on the loss of his wife: "When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of 'No answer.' It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, 'Peace, child; you don't understand.' " I get at least some comfort from Lewis' comment, but my heart remains heavy and my day appears to be painted with a hue of grey.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON JUNE 16, 2011: Reposted on May 28, 2015. Major General Nate Lindsay went home to be with the Lord on Memorial Day, 2015. I drove our friends Nate and Shirley to the Denver Airport today. It is the last time I will see Nate in Colorado; he is moving into a care facility in California next week. I have had several good "closure" times with Nate over the past few days. He helped me clean up stuff around my house one day (he's great at that!); we did part of a puzzle together and drove around listening to country music; we walked that dogs a couple of times; Susy brought him to a baseball games I was umpiring; and I drove him to the airport today. That last thing I said to Nate at the curbside was, "I salute you General. I love you." And then gave him a hug and he and Shirley walked into the terminal. I determined not to break down crying right then, but I drove a few hundred yards from the terminal and pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road. And had a really good, hard cry. Boy, it actually felt refreshing to cry that hard. Then I called Susy and told her about saying goodbye to Nate and we had a good cry on the phone together. Phew, I'm tired! I plan to see Nate as often as I can when I am out in Los Angeles. But today is the end of a season for us. We won't be driving up the hill to bring Nate for a walk, he won't be coming to our house to play with the dogs, we won't do puzzles together, and I probably won't listen to country music again for a very long time! If this sounds depressing, it is not actually. It is good and right for Nate to be in a care facility and I understand it is a great place. I am confident, along with his family, that he can do well there. And yet I am left with a big hole in my life, and I feel sad. But it's a good sad. So ... I salute you General Lindsay ... You are indeed a very good man.
The worship team closed the service at Crossroads last Sunday with this song from Jeremy Camp. It captured the morning of worship and has stuck with me. I love it!
It's the end of our week in Amsterdam and we head home today. I am tired yet fulfilled in the work/ministry we did this week. Serve the City is a major undertaking and the coordinators do an incredible job juggling the many details of the projects. Here's a few personal reflections on the week: 1) Serving others is both incredibly simple and full of complexity at the same time. It does not take that much to push a wheelchair with an elderly person, but their needs and hurts are so far beyond that moment of bringing them to the park; 2) We could have done Serve the City projects in Amsterdam for weeks on end and there would still be many, many more needs. The goal is not to meet everyone's needs, but rather to show love through serving and thus point people to God in some way. 3) There are better mission project leaders than me! :o) I have not led a mission team to Europe in many, many years. My team was flexible and gracious with me, which was a good thing because I needed grace! 4) Susy's and my worlds of Denver and Europe "met" for the first time this week, which was a lot of fun for us. It was like linking to important chapters of our lives together at last. I'm left with one more thing to ponder - I do not know what God will do with the work our team did this week. We were in many situations and interacted with a lot of people. We stay in the heart of Amsterdam and met servers in pubs to people on the street to someone asking for directions. We painted the apartment of a emotionally challenged guy and another apartment of a woman who is addicted to drugs. Hopefully we left God's mark wherever we went, and I trust that He will use it for His purposes.
It is early Sunday morning in Amsterdam. Most of Serve the City is behind us now; it has been a full and fulfilling three days. Today we attend worship services at Crossroads Church and then have a party for kids in one of the parks of Amsterdam. Yesterday we spent the day with elderly folks who are in assisted care facilities. Some of them have forms of dementia, many need to be pushed in wheelchairs. They rarely get out of their group home, so we packed them up and brought them to a nearby park and had a picnic lunch together. Sounds simple, doesn't it? It is. It was also profound for all of us. It's often the little things of life which are most most poignant. It was a beautiful scene seeing our team pushing wheelchairs with elderly people into the park. (photos forthcoming in tomorrow's blog) I am up early to look over my sermon notes; I am preaching at Crossroads today. Very much like coming home for me. Looking forward to seeing many dear people to my family.
TEAM: You never know how a group of people will gel and live together for a week on a mission trip. We are half way through the trip and this has been a great mix of people, talents, personalities. Just a wonderful time!
There are 11 of us, and it has been a meeting of our family's worlds of Europe and America (Amsterdam and Denver). We have been privileged to have three people on the team - Joe, Betsy, and Gail - who we journeyed with us when we lived in Amsterdam. Joe and Betsy live in the US now, Gail still lives here. It has just felt so natural to have them as part of the team. The rest of us (8 people) are from our church in Denver. Relative newcomers to the church - Chris and Kelda - as well as old-timers (who will remain nameless!). Extroverts and introverts, life-of-the-party and wall-flowers. We have walked the streets of Amsterdam together, served people together, laughed and cried and prayed and pondered together. There have been some easy times and some harder times. We have enjoyed great meals together, slept in cramped quarters together in a hostel, been a bit overwhelmed by the sights and sounds of Amsterdam culture. We have done it together, and it is a great privilege for me. Thanks, team!
Life is a blur at the moment, due in part to jetlag and feeling "foggy" in my head. We have had a great first day in Amsterdam. This afternoon we visited the Corrie ten Boom house in Haarlem and afterward met as a team to discuss shalom. It's a spectacular day here in Amsterdam - sun is shining, people are out in numbers at cafes. I am meeting a good friend for a coffee at Leidseplein in 20 minutes, then the team will be with Brigitte (Serve the City coordinator) for dinner. Projects begin tomorrow. We will be painting two people's homes/apartments all day. More later ... with photos, as soon as I can get them downloaded onto my computer.
At the moment I am sitting in a United Airlines lounge at Denver Airport looking at a flight board, waiting for our flight to Philadelphia and onto Amsterdam. I go on auto-pilot (no pun intended) on travel days. I have done the travel thing long enough that it's kind of old. This trip is different because Susy and I are traveling with 4 others from Denver and meeting up with 5 more people when we arrive in Amsterdam. Our 11-person team is an awesome mix of people! I am looking forward to being with them for the next week. We travel for the next 16 hours and arrive in Amsterdam at 9am local time. Then it's off to The Shelter hostel in downtown Amsterdam to settle in. I'll write again once we arrive in Amsterdam. Thanks to all of you who are part of the Serve the City project - people in the U.S. who are supporting the projects, people in Amsterdam who will be volunteering, people around various places who are praying! We are grateful for all of you.
As you can tell, I have not been blogging this week. It's a prep week for our Amsterdam trip. The combination of the logistical part and the teaching I will be doing next week has kind of "swamped the canoe." I will be back to blogging next week when we leave for Amsterdam.
We head to Amsterdam a week from today to work with Serve the City and to be with some of the dearest people in our lives! Can't wait, it will be a great trip indeed! A special thanks to everyone at Lookout Mountain Church who participated in the Silent Auction yesterday. More than $2000 came in for the trip, which is a huge blessing and help to the team. As much as I am looking forward to our Amsterdam trip, today I am living in the mundane of life. The plumbing in our house has been blocked up all weekend and I am waiting at home for the plumber. It would also be great to have a shower today! Ah the joys of life! HA.
People have rightfully asked me about the theology upon which the Isaac-Ishmael Initiative is founded. I find myself a bit lonely in my assumptions, as I mentioned to my friend Rob today while we were hanging out at a cafe. Rob happens to be the big cheese (president) of Christian Associates and is one of the few people who track with me on these assumptions.
This has got me mulling over the people and books which inform me the most. They are all focused on a "robust Kingdom theology," to quote Rob from this morning. Here's a short list: * George Eldon Ladd, The Gospel of the Kingdom * Lesslie Newbigin, Foolishness to the Greeks, The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, and a lot of his other writing (found in The Reader) * Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy * Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus Ladd's thinking on the Kingdom of God is foundational/seminal for me. I re-read his little book, The Gospel of the Kingdom every year. It is profound and insightful while being written for the mission practitioner. Here is where I find myself in regards to the Kingdom and the children of Abraham (Isaac and Ishmael). If I truly believe that Jesus inaugurated the Kingdom of God on earth and that Isaac and Ishmael both have a place in that Kingdom (see Isaiah 59 and 60), then I am called to be part of co-creating that diverse community here and now. What that means is that Jesus does not give me the option to hate and be punitive toward people who would naturally be my enemies (such as the children of Ishmael). I dream of the Kingdom of God so permeating cultures that Jews and Arabs will worship God together through Jesus Christ. In every place where people despise each other (Hutus vs. Tutsis in Rwanda, Catholics vs. Protestants in Northern Ireland, Kurds vs. Turks and Iranians and Iraqis, etc.) the gospel of the Kingdom penetrates and turns those despised into the beloved. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? It may just be crazy enough to be true.
